It's not the heat, it's the stupidity.

Going off to do Donation Dog duty today, with a dog, water and bowl, a minimum of essentials such as ID and cash, made sense. Why haul a lot around when you don't know if you'll be seated in the shade or standing in the sun for two hours?

We ended up in a compromising location - standing in the shade. I was glad we had a plan and had worked it. That was until I realized I needed to put in the "starter money" I always carry for the donation dog events. Reaching in for the few singles I brought along I also pulled out my license.

Well, I thought it was my license. It was my Barnes and Noble membership card. As one guy visiting with Baxter when I made the discovery said, "If you get stopped they'll just book you." Ha ha ha!

The plan fell apart completely when Baxter and I left our post because the heat index was over 100 and there was a heat alert issued. There should have been a humidity alert too.

Back to the car we went, not having coaxed a single copper out of anyone's pocket or hand. People were not in a giving mood although he did receive plenty of pats on the head and I gave out lots of Adoption Alert newsletters. It was a PR mission rather than Donation Dog mission. Not discouraged by that we rode home in the air-conditioned car; he kept an eye on approaching traffic on the chance he'd have to warn them off or out of our lane.

Once we arrived here we trotted happily up to the house and discovered we were locked out. I had not taken my house keys. Ed was gone. We were keyless and clueless in the country. Duh.

Before the other critters knew we were there we dashed quietly back to the car and drove to the near west side of Springfield to interrupt the Pet First Aid class and get Ed's house key. We were still without my driver's license and getting low on gas. Last time I checked I couldn't buy gas at Barnes and Noble but it wouldn't matter - the card is only for discounts not charges. I drove at a speed with which I am unaccustomed. The car reported we can get in again and go 28 miles before it coasts to a stop. The good part is we heard an interesting story on NPR. At least I thought it was interesting. Baxter didn't pay attention all that much.

Yesterday I gave my new cell phone a second chance to perform as I wanted. The evening before I had made attempts to understand the intuitiveness it supposedly has.

I think these things are intuitive for young men only - always have been. Now it seems everything is in pictures, no real instructions other than a horrid noise when the phone puts forth the "you're stupid" bleep. The guy at the store whipped through the few cues and clues and never once said, "Don't try this at home." The result was I made several unplanned calls, early in the day. Hopefully only the one person I heard from was disturbed in 'real time' and everyone else had their phones still off or charging or whatever phones do when by themselves.

I did manage to replicate everyone's phone number in my address book too so had fun removing them. I hope that's what I did. And, oddly enough, the numbers the provider put in cannot be removed - there's no trash can for all their stuff. Oh, what a mistake that is!

Last night we went to the usual hang out for fish. It's a bar not a restaurant. The food, even though it is fish, is not good for us. Fried fish and fried taters. We go for the atmosphere.

Really. It's good to know a wide range of people, bikers of all sizes and shapes and hair styles and tattoos and humor, those who swear more than me, neighbors who drink so much they don't remember they have met you. Hey, there but for the grace of God goes any one of us. Most of these people would give you the shirt off their backs.

Mid-meal I gasped, which brought an end to the action temporarily, and revealed to the man I was with that we were actually missing the mission trip fundraiser we were supposed to be attending at a swanky place on the lake. Having been to the same type of event a couple of years past, for the same reason, we had been looking forward to seeing people we saw two years ago. Did those two ever get married? Is that guy stil wearing a bad rug? Something is different about her. Hmmmm. Look at the size of that (choose all that apply): plate of food, diamond, check. It was to support our doctor and nurse practitioner (owners of one of our foster dogs). A pharmacist and his wife (also adopters of one of our fosters) were going. We WANTED to be there. Ya can't dress 'em up or take 'em out it appears. And, if you do, it's likely you won't end up where you were supposed to be.

Three strikes.
I think I'm out.