What Do You Call...

The Chinese may make the toys kids play with, the dishes we eat off of, the floor we walk on, but they will not be making comments on this blog. I have had to invoke the "right to refuse posting" of comments.

I tell you that because this posting is about a game created decades ago after a huge dinner and a "little" wine, and a long drive home (riding as a passenger). It's corny but fun. We own it. But you can play and I encourage you to do so in the comments section.

Here's how it goes:

First, you either need a map of a state or need to be very familiar with the towns/villages/cities of a state. Often this is the state in which you live. This is the part that could turn this into an educational tool for all you teachers.

Next, the first player thinks up a question and answer and presents just the question to other players. Two or more can play. The question is "What do you call a town where all the residents are little Angelina Jolie's?" In this case the answer is "Joliet" as if they are "Joliettes"...

No body said it had to be anything other than corny and the more groans the better. Of course, proper wording of the question is key. "What do you call a town where all Santa's elves finish this phrase, 'No____.'?" The answer is "Pekin" as in "peekin'" as in ...duh, at the Christmas presents.

And, Whaddaya or whatcha is not acceptable. PLEASE, proper grammar is important. Come up with a few.

Tuesday - a Clean Sweep

It's not that I've been away.

I've been cleaning. oooouu-eeey. What have I learned from this?

1. Dogs bring in a lot of dirt and manage to look clean doing it.
2. Dogs bring in even more dirt when they look dirty.
3. We have charge units with no associated devices. Sure as I toss them - well, you know the rest.
4. It's hard to find the good lemon furniture oil in our town.
5. We need a new sofa.
6. It is possible to clean without re-arranging the furniture.
7. Music makes me move.
8. Don't put lids down if you expect to find them and put them on the bottle again.
9. Making a "to go" box should be part of the routine.
10. I will always want to start with dusting and end with vacuuming even if my husband wants to do the reverse.
11. Santa won't recognize the place.
12. You can turn the thermostat down and generate your own heat.
13. By the time it's all done your brain is to fried to think who you should invite over to see it.
14. Facebook can wait.

What Should I Do?

These are things I should be doing instead of blogging:

Finish the details on my will
Go to the art gallery and pick up two framed items
Sweep the snow off the deck and steps
Paint the closet and the bedroom ceiling
Clean out the car
Read a book that is due Wednesday
Fold laundry
Updating and backing up files

All right, there's probably a lot more but how disgusting is this? The last item made me quit. Now I'm ticked about technology. It seems to suck up time. I went shopping on Woot. com a few days back - oh, hang on, what's the deal for today? - Phew. Toshiba 26” LCD HDTV with Built-In DVD Player

$299.99
+ $5 shipping
Condition:NewProduct:1 Toshiba 26LV61K 26” LCD HDTV with DivX Certified Built-In DVD Player
 
I don't need one of these,...do I? Anyway, no. I'm already listening to my Woot $20 Sansa Clip which is smaller than a matchbook. THANKFULLY, although I downloaded and printed the manual, I can listen to the FM radio portion without reading beyond the "Here's the power button." Eventually I find a song I have to download, I'm sure. Then Ill figure it out. In the meantime, there's the blog. Oh, and, yes, the list above which shall, I fear, remain incomplete and unfinished. I'll add to it and remove things as they are done though.
 
I call this progress. And, isn't that what all this technology brings us too? Progress. Ah, yes.
 
My life IS a work in progress.

first snow

We have it.Our "First Snow" is here and there is always something magical about its arrival. The smaller trees express "I made it! I can hold my own snow!" The noises we usually hear in the morning are muffled and the children are mufflered. The dogs, oh, the dogs, chasing around, in an entirely new yard, seeing all the potential it offers for the day.

Snow is a mood-setter. People, although already bustling for the best deals, will now get in the spirit. It's like a "last call" - Here's the snow now! Enjoy it! So do.

It's the way the song, "Silver Bells", goes..."Soon it will be CHRISTMAS time."

Ho Ho Ho

...And, I'm not talking about a person so don't report me for an indiscretion in terms of political correctness.

Darn IT. The past two times one of our dogs and I have been out for Donation Dog duty (collecting money for the local shelter animals) we have had WEATHER and plenty of it, all crappy. That means few $$$$. But last night takes the proverbial "cake".

A local politician was to show up to light the tree in front of the Old State Capitol. He did. The event was canceled. The tree fell over. WHY, OH WHY did I not have my camera with me?

What's more, the group which was supposed to sing had few singers show up. They were kids, after all, and their parents were to bring them. Uh, I'm thinking the parents who didn't bring their kids were wise to the probability of it being a wasted trip.

There stood poor Baxter (in his new hoodie, I might add, under his Donation Dog vest) and me, under the generous awning of the Chamber's current office. They are moving tomorrow. Anyway, that's another story. But, all these Magnet School kids and parents crowded under the awning, making it less than generous. They IGNORED our presence and, in old people speak, "carried on loudly". Then the director came along, late I might add. She announced "We're not singing!"

OK. And, this is because....? Well, someone(s) complained and they sang from last year's already wrecked song books, three songs.

That was it. It was pretty painful.

The worst was yet to come. Baxter and I roamed downtown Springpatch for 1 hour and got $20, $5 which was (sucker) mine.

Last week Harmony and I shivered in front of WalMart the night before Thanksgiving for $25, $5 which was (sucker) mine.

I'm thinking tee shirts...

"My owner took me out as a Donation Dog and all I got was a lousy $20."
and for me
"BWS" for Bad Weather Sucker

Other ideas?

PG-13

Santa was holed up at our house for a long time. He came out of the closet this week to spend time building up strength to face the "Night of the Great Challenge". You've read, haven't you, that the fastest a reindeer can travel is about 32 MPH? You do the math about how long it'll take to get to everyone's domain.

So,taking his position on the hearth, near a trusty replica of abovementioned deer, Santa Claus was ruthlessly attacked today. It was the Beagle. I caught her red-coat and fur-trimmed covered, gnawing away at his hand. So much for not biting the hand that feeds you.

If you read yesterday's post you know I pet sit. If you didn't read it, well, now you know but you didn't laugh at the rest of that entry. My own dogs' behaviors leave me questioning my abilities. It's like kids though, I rationalize. Everyone else's seem to be no trouble at all.

I was in the house with this villan when the malicious crime took place. There I was, in the kitchen, making cold pea salad. You know the one: peas, cheese, and mayo. It was deathly quiet, no clatter at all, in the living room. The poor, stalwart fella had no chance. He'd been cornered. I stepped in to see what was the matter. It was already over.

I removed the bodily remains, grimly and silently. OK, that's just for drama. I uttered a sharp and disappointing "OH!"


Trashy Santa now is ready for his next stop, the outside cans. Before the week is out he'll be transported, swept away by unknowing workers, never to see his elves, his workshop, or, sigh, Mrs. Claus, again.




It seems as if it was only yesterday I was taking the Santa's helper hat I had set out away from this same dog. Ah, it was yesterday.

Well, I managed to re-attach that pom-pon so the hat is still a fashion statement. And, I kept the hood from dead Santa to stitch up and make a larger Donation Dog pocket for dog vests when we go a-collecting and a-caroling for APL. Tis the season.










All's well that ends well.
Guinnie is satisfied with a nylabone wishbone. I am hoping tomorrow is a slow news day.

Recently I started pet sitting. Yes, I have plenty here but this is just "fun" and "money". So, I did that early this a.m. and then headed to Starbucks to meet a Missouri friend, as we had scheduled. Ed came from home.

Mind you, we opt for locally owned coffee houses 99.9% of the time. So to the staff we were strangers. The young bari---coffee hound who waited on us was a R-I-O-T. At 9:30 there I am ordering decaf to which he says "It will be a few minutes. We only make it on demand." I responded, "Well, then, I DEMAND decaf." He got it. Away we went.

An hour later he came over to ask us to leave, citing that other customers were complaining. They weren't really and we didn't leave. He said, and other staff backed him up on this, that we were laughing too much and having too good a time.

I let that pass, soaked it in for a few minutes. Then I wandered over to the counter, near the door to the back room. I waited for him to come back out. Another young guy was at the counter working.

It was then that I advised them I was from corporate.

One good yuck deserves another!

BTW, the guy I'd been exchanging barbs with hesitated ever so slightly. The other guy fell for it totally.

Yes, I confessed. I'm really from the buyout company.